


Rekindling

by IndigoRaysofLight



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, True Love, so cheesy you might literally get a heartache
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10054181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndigoRaysofLight/pseuds/IndigoRaysofLight
Summary: After six years, Catelyn Tully returns to Wintertown and she is keenly reminded of everything she left behind: her hopes, her dreams, and the man she loved with all of her heart. He had promised he would wait for her, but after such a long absence, she doesn’t know anymore. So when she decides to see him again, she cannot help but wonder if they still have a chance of rekindling what they once had between them. Little does she know that her love is wondering the same.This fic is based on a Tumblr prompt "exes meeting each other again after a long time" by Pattarain.





	1. A Love Knot

**Author's Note:**

> All the characters belong to GRRM. I own nothing. This is only meant to create a whole lot of feels, because OTP. Also I do not have a beta reader for this, and English isn't my first language, so if you find any cringe worthy grammatical errors, please feel free to tell me. Enjoy the feels....as there will be many. :3
> 
> Teen and up for the first couple of chapters but rated mature as it will get mature after that. There will be five or six installments of this at most, and I will try to update this on a weekly basis (don't quote me on that though, because life happens).

  _It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on, it takes a lot of strength to let go_

_– J.C. Watts_

_~_

 

Catelyn got out of the shower, feeling warm and refreshed. She still had rollers in her hair as she opened the closet to look for an outfit. Something nice, but casual. _Its casual. Just two friends having dinner,_ she told herself for the thousandth time, ignoring that her heart suddenly started beating faster. _My heart is beating faster because I just got out of a hot shower. It's fine._

She was still adjusting to her new life in Wintertown, her apartment was a cozy place on the edge of the city. Perfect for commute to and from work, it was peaceful and quiet. It had nothing to do with the apartment building two blocks down the road that she had recognized immediately. Or so she’d told herself. It had obviously been a lie, a vain attempt to ward off desperate thoughts that had started emerging since she’d set foot in Wintertown. Not that she believed those lies, but they weren’t so different from all the other lies she'd told herself for the last six years. Sighing, she slowly started taking the rollers out of her hair as her mind wandered.

Jory had picked her up at the airport, he’d greeted her with a wide smile, hugging her tightly and spinning her around with glee. They’d been in touch for the longest time. He had been the only tether she had to Wintertown all these years. She had no contact with anyone for the first couple of years as she had been too focused on her family. But a few years ago Jory had showed up at Riverrun for a conference and called her, so she’d met up with him. She sorely needed a friend at the time and they’d kept in touch after that. So when Jory had offered to pick her up at the airport and help her settle in, she’d been quite happy. It was good to know someone in this cold place; someone she could actually contact.

After six years of radio silence she didn’t think ringing _him_ like nothing had passed between them would be a good idea. Yet, ever since she had moved here and met Jory, she'd stopped herself many times from mentioning him. Barging into his life after six years was the last thing she wanted to do. What if he had met someone else? He deserved a chance to have a happy life with someone. Even if she’d waited all this time for him. And it was unrealistic to wish he'd waited six years for her. No matter what he’d said. She didn't know if he was with someone else, and she didn't have the strength to ask Jory about it.

Catelyn picked a simple blue sweater dress she owned. It was casual enough and it brought out the blue in her eyes. Then she put on her necklace, as always, and her gaze dropped to the white gold pendant resting between her collarbone, the metal gently cooling the skin beneath it. She traced the love knot on it and the single sapphire in the middle - he had bought it for her as a parting gift, and she had worn it everyday since, it had become a talisman for her. It was the only thing that tethered her to him, the only thing that reminded her of what they once had between them - what she still felt. Even from far away, even when she hadn’t spoken to him for years, what she felt for him remained intact. She shook her head and moved to open the drapes on the nearest window slightly to see what she would have to drive in soon. Everything was covered in snow when it had just been clear a couple of hours ago. _Of course_ , she thought sullenly. There was a light snowfall too, she hoped it stopped soon.

“At least the roads are clear,” she muttered to herself, absentmindedly tracing the knots on the pendant, then started getting ready. That was the good thing about Wintertown, the people were never phased by the weather, no matter how bad it got. Life carried on as usual. She put on her coat and gloves, then headed out. She was excited and anxious at the same time. The date-- _no, not date, meetup,_ she chided herself. The meetup had been scheduled by accident; sort of.

When Jory had helped her move into her new apartment she'd asked about the Starks in general and he'd given her a soft smile and only said “they are all good”. She had been disappointed by the vagueness, but it wasn’t her place to pry, so she had dropped the subject. Then after some time while sorting books in her bookshelf Jory sneakily mentioned that after taking over Stark Corporation _he_ had moved back to the Stark Estate and that he went to a cafe - that was two blocks away from her apartment - before and after work. So a few days later, she had visited the place to see if he’d show up. He hadn’t, so she had gone back the next day with an excuse that the cafe was secluded, had good coffee, and a nice ambience to read a book. Days went by, then a week ago, she had finally seen him.

 

_Catelyn walked in the cafe and ordered her coffee. The barista gave her a smile and asked “The usual, hon?”_

_Catelyn smiled back, “Yes, Mocha with light whipped cream please.” She took a seat near the window next to the door, as usual. She was sure at this point she was being silly to think he would be there, but she could always try. And the coffee was good, so it helped. She relaxed for a while looking down at the book she was reading, just when she was about to finish her coffee and go home feeling vaguely disappointed, she heard the barista greet someone._

“ _One London Fog, extra foam, and two sugars - to go, please.” The man said in a deep, calm yet tired voice, she felt her heart clench and goosebumps washed over her. She would know that voice anywhere, it sounded slightly deeper, wiser, older. And his order almost made her smile._

“ _The usual, coming right up.” The barista answered, much like she’d said it to Catelyn._

_Catelyn turned to look at him, he was standing with his back to her, but it was him. He waited with his hands in his suit pockets, looking down at his feet and then murmured his thanks when the barista handed him the drink. Catelyn hadn't realized she was on her feet and inching towards him, when he turned her heart started beating much faster and when he looked at her it stopped completely for a moment._

_He stared at her for a long moment like he was looking at a ghost. He stood still as a rock. Hair swept backwards in a classic do, dark circles and bags under his eyes - he looked tired. His eyes softened with a mixture of joy, disbelief and something akin to hope. She blinked away the tears in her eyes as he slowly took a step towards her. Everything she'd bottled up for the last six years flooded in her mind all at once. Every fear, every hope, every desperate feeling of longing for him engulfed her as she looked into his eyes now, and she wanted nothing but to melt into him and forget everything else. And hope, most of all, she let herself hope for a moment that she wasn't too late, that there was still a chance. His face remained shocked as he slowly walked to her and when she took a step towards him, her arms inadvertently reached to hold him. She didn't know who closed the distance, but within a moment they were in each other's embrace. Holding on like their life depended on it._

_“Ned.” She whispered in his shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of him._

_“God, Cat!” he exhaled shakily, holding her tightly._

 

She smiled remembering that day. They'd talked for a while in that cafe, he'd given her one of his beautiful smiles when she mentioned meeting again to catch up and he had invited her over at the Stark Mansion for dinner. And after exchanging numbers, they'd walked in opposite directions. But he remained on her mind, even more than he used to be. It seems having seen him again reminded her, more deeply, of every single thing she'd missed about him. She'd never thought it was possible to be so consumed by thoughts about someone, yet here she was, making sure she looked good for an ex lover from about six years ago. He was so much more than that though, all those thoughts were flooding in her mind now. She still chided herself for being so typical, but looked in the mirror nonetheless before starting the car.

She drove towards her destination, mindful of residual snow on the roads. Idly wondering if she would ever get used to driving here. Her lane was clear as it was Friday night and everyone was heading to the city and not away from it. The sun was setting, making the heaps of snow on either sides of the highway glisten in the evening light. The trees looked like sharp daggers in the snow. She begrudgingly accepted that in spite of the pain of northern winters, there was nothing more beautiful than them and drove on, her mind wandering back to the man she was going to meet after years. Her feelings overwhelming her as she closed the distance between them.

Duties and responsibilities had ripped them apart, but her love for him had not faded in the years. She remembered countless days in Riverrun when she had to stop herself from calling him. Lysa sometimes read her news from Wintertown - she’d been quite bitter after the entire ordeal with Petyr, and she had trouble being kind to people around her. It bothered Catelyn, but she also pitied Lysa. After all her sister had been through, Catelyn couldn’t imagine how she was feeling. But the news her sister told her sometimes would leave her restless. She remembered wanting to take a few days off after father had returned to work. _Just a few days and I’ll be back_ , she would tell herself. _I just need to see him, to know he is okay._ After she’d heard about Brandon and Rickard, if it hadn’t been for Lysa’s condition, she would’ve been on the next plane to Wintertown to help him. She had even made plans of dividing time between Wintertown and Riverrun so she could be there for both her family and him. But then Lysa’s health had worsened and she had stayed.

She thought about the dark days when everything was grim, and she held on to the pendant resting against her collarbone and what it represented - a silent promise. In those days, it became a sign of desperate hope that he would keep his promise, _he always kept his promises_.

There were days when she was selfish, when she didn’t want him to move on. She would feel terrible that a part of her wanted to remind him of her existence, so he wouldn’t forget her and find someone else. She wanted him to be hers and hers alone, she would get angry at herself and at him for not holding on to what they had, for giving up on each other, and she would weep with longing. Those days she hated herself for being selfish and bitter, and didn’t stop herself from missing him terribly. Then there were days when she simply wanted to sleep in his arms for a long time. To forget all the pain and suffering that befell his and her family, to feel safe and certain for just a little while. But she couldn’t abandon her family. She wouldn’t.

_Family, Duty, Honour._

There were days when she was sure she could never return. She shuddered, as if to shirk away the thoughts of those dark days. In all those days, he remained in the back of her mind. Ever so present. His presence grounded her, encouraged her, _loved her_ . That had been her solace most days and nights. No matter what happened now, it wouldn’t change how she felt. She couldn’t help but think about all the news and rumours Lysa had told her, but she tried not to linger on them. She couldn’t expect anything from him. _It's just dinner, just dinner,_ she repeated to herself like a mantra.

Soon, she was driving into the posh neighbourhood, making her way atop the biggest and most secluded area of the place. As the Stark estate appeared on the horizon, her heart started beating faster. Catelyn still recalled the first time she’d met him here . . .

 

_Catelyn looked around the majestic living room. The Stark mansion was much bigger than the Tully manor, and her home wasn't exactly small. But it is much colder here, she thought to herself and moved closer to the hearth. She rubbed her hands together but the chill had already reached her bones. Her fingers were icy cold, and she shivered slightly. Inadvertently she pulled at the sweater Lyanna had draped on the high back chair she sat on. She wrapped her small form in the sweater with rather broad shoulders. It isn't so warm but it will do, she thought. After a moment she deduced for sure that it didn't belong to Brandon. He was simply too tall for it. And too stubborn to wear a sweater. She was relieved, because she had no wish of having him find her wearing his sweater as given the chance he still acted bitter towards her, even after six months, she didn’t wish to give him any more incentive. Their break up hadn’t been messy, but it hadn’t been particularly amicable either. He’d expected her to understand his sleeping around since she hadn’t put out yet. She sighed and shook her head not wanting to think of things that made her angry, it was all done and she didn’t want to drudge up the past. Knowing her brother’s passive aggressive behaviour, Lyanna wouldn’t offer her his sweater. Perhaps it was Rickard’s or her other brother’s - the one she hadn’t met yet. Either way, it was warming her slowly so she stopped thinking about it._

_Catelyn looked out at the snowfall through the large windows. The snow storm had gotten worse. She bit her lip, wondering what would've happened if Lyanna hadn't shown up to pick her up on the bus stop. The snow had started falling quite heavily by the time Catelyn had left the library. It had already been quite late and the snow piled high enough that she could barely walk without tripping and falling face first into it. So she had known the frequency of the buses would be quite slow. The one time she'd decided to take the bus instead of her car, she sighed. But she'd still waited for an hour when she’d stopped feeling her toes and that had broken her resolve, causing her to finally call Lyanna for help. The Starks lived not too far from the library and Lyanna had rescued her from being buried alive in snow. She'd hopped in the shower right away and Lyanna had given her spare clothes so she could crash at the Stark Mansion for the night. She promised to drop her first thing in the morning after the snow ploughs did their work._

_Unfortunately, since she was still used to pulling all nighters for school work, her sleep was pretty much screwed and she would likely be up all night. So after twisting and turning in bed, she’d finally gotten up and moved to the parlour. She didn’t wish to turn on the telly in case it disturbed the rest of them, so she’d read a book for a while and now she just sat staring at the fire waiting for the sun to come up._

_Only seven and a half hours to go… she counted._

_The sweater coupled with the warmth radiating from the hearth caused the feeling to return to her fingers. When Lyanna had draped the sweater on the high back chair for Catelyn, she'd rolled her eyes but damn it, Lyanna had been right. This house temperature was set low since everyone that lived here was bloody carved out of ice. Just then a deep voice emerged from the hallway, piercing the silence and she jumped as it was quite late, and everybody was asleep, as far as she knew._

“ _My closet looks like a bomb went off in it. Shirts scattered on the bed, the room is a mess!! What the hell, Lya?!-- You're not Lya.” The man exclaimed at the end of his rant and stared at her with a mixture of shock and embarrassment and Catelyn took that moment to let her heartbeat normalize._

“ _Nope,” she managed to say as she silently looked at the man in front of her that looked very much like Lyanna. She'd met Benjen, so this one must be Eddard, she thought. He had a slight scowl on his face that was slowly waning at the realization that she was indeed not Lyanna. His hair was wet and swept back, his eyes were grey as the winter's sky. They shone like steel as the light from the hearth danced on his face. His eyes softened immediately and he just looked at her for a long while. His eyes were focused not on her eyes but to her left, she turned to look at the hearth and then back at him with her eyebrows raised._

_It seemed to shake his trance and he sheepishly ran a hand through his hair and then quickly wiped it on his shirt. “I'm sorry, I'm Eddard. Ned. Ned Stark.”_

“ _Catelyn. Tully.” she said._

“ _Tully? Oh. Right. . . uh,” he looked back to the staircase, cringing slightly. “You are here because. . .” he added tentatively and trailed off._

_And she suddenly realized where his thoughts went after finding her awake so late in his home, wearing a man’s sweater, so she quickly added, “. . .of Lyanna! She brought me here. I live on the other side of town and it wasn't possible to get there in...that.” She gestured towards the huge layer of snow on the window sill. A part of her felt cold just looking at it. She wondered what the sight would be like in the morning. Lyanna's brother just looked vaguely uncomfortable, a distinct expression she’d seen on Lyanna a few times and she wondered how much he knew about her and Brandon._

“ _I guess you know about what happened with me and Brandon.” They'd only dated for more or less eight months. From the look on Eddard’s face, it was clear he knew the story._

_“Yes. I mean, no. My dad told us when you first moved here, but yeah I know about what happened with you and Brandon too. But that's not.... I....” he sighed. “Look, can we start over?”_

“ _Sure,” she smiled. Looking at his expression she felt bad for him._

_He outstretched his hand, “Eddard Stark. But everyone calls me Ned.”_

_She shook it, still smiling, “Catelyn Tully. My family and friends call me Cat.”_

“ _Nice to meet you, Catelyn.” He said almost formally. “And if you could forget my little outburst before, it would save me a lot of embarrassment.”_

_She laughed, “Of course.”_

_He sighed in relief, “Thank you,” he answered solemnly. He seemed so different from the rest of them, she thought idly. When Rickard first introduced her to most of his family, - back when he said Eddard hadn't finished some internship he was doing somewhere in the south, - Lyanna had smirked at her then wandered off to talk to a friend. Brandon had introduced himself with a charming smile while leering at her before wandering off with a dark haired woman. Benjen had smiled at her brightly, but enthusiastically asked about her brother when she'd told him Edmure loved some video game he mentioned, then even he had wandered off to play with his gameboy. But this was the first time one of the Stark siblings looked straight in her eyes and formally introduced himself, and stayed._

“ _I didn't see you at the party at the beginning of last year.” She said, noticing how his eyes remained on hers the entire time, not wandering for even a second._

“ _No, I was still finishing up my internship in Vale.” Vale! That's where he was, working with Jon Arryn. She motioned towards the chair in front of her, he sat down._

_“You study with my sister?” he asked._

_“No, but we have some electives together. It's where we became friends.”_

_“And you give her notes, don’t you?” he asked, eyes sparkling with mirth._

_“Yes, I give her notes.” She laughed, it seems she hadn’t been the only one wondering why Lyanna missed many of her classes. She didn’t exactly approve of it, but Lyanna was a good friend, and one of the few friends she had. She didn’t wish to lose her over a few notes, and it was just an elective class, so she didn’t think as much about it. Although there were times she wondered if the notes were the only reason Lyanna spent time with her._

_“She cares about you, you know.” She looked up at Eddard’s words, wondering if she’d thought out loud._

_“My sister. She cares about you. She’s not much for studying, the only reason she’s doing it is so our father won’t lecture her about education, duties and responsibilities anymore. And she doesn’t have as many friends, she can be a bit selfish sometimes but she has a good heart. So thanks for helping her out and for being there for her.” He looked truly grateful and sincere._

_Catelyn appreciated the raw honesty in his eyes and his words, and she smiled. “She does. She’s a good friend.”_

_“You know you don't have to stay awake with me. I've been pull all nighters these last few days which is why I am wide awake at this time in the night.” She said after awhile, she didn’t wish to keep him if he was sleepy._

_“So have I, actually. My paperwork is done, but my sleep is still screwed.”_

_“Paperwork?” she asked._

_“Oh, I joined Stark Corporation this year. I've been bringing work home for the past week or so, since my dad is on a business trip. So I’ve been staying up, but now the work is done and my sleep schedule is ruined. If you want to be alone...” he started to get up._

_“No, no, please sit,” she added quickly with a smile, so he knew she meant it._

_He gave her a hint of a smile and silently looked at the fire for a long moment. He seemed comfortable to be silent. The wind whistled outside and she snuggled in the sweater, looking at the dying firelight. She saw him glance at it and then her sweater briefly._

“ _Are you cold?” He asked, almost confused._

“ _Yes, I'm from the south.” Catelyn answered, defiantly, expecting him to laugh and tease her about it like everyone else did. But instead he got up, put more wood in the fireplace and stoked the flames. Catelyn instantly felt better as the warmth licked at her face. She sighed and murmured her thanks. Catelyn suddenly realized whose sweater she was clutching on to. “This is yours, I presume.”_

_Ned gave her a rather adorable lopsided grin, “Yeah, but you can keep it. You need it more than I do.”_

_He still snuck glances at her shoulder and a she looked at it to see if there was something on it._

_Ned looked down sheepishly, “I'm sorry, your hair is...it’s...” he trailed off looking like he didn't know how to say it._

_Ah, he was looking at her hair then. She didn't know what it was with northerners and auburn hair. Even some people she met in University talked about it. She ignored random students yelling out comments about her hair sometimes, but in response to some of the vulgar comments she would glare but let it go. People seemed oddly curious about the colour. Women with auburn hair were not as common here, she supposed._

_“It's red?” she supplied assuming Ned was looking for a word to describe it. It bothered her when people called her that sometimes, but her hair was red - well, dark auburn, but in the red family - so she couldn't exactly blame them for the obvious nickname. She'd heard it enough times already. But much to her surprise, Ned just shook his head._

“ _It's beautiful. It's more like dark auburn, and it is glowing so much in the firelight that it looks like fire. It's really quite beautiful.” He looked deeply in her eyes when he said the last part._

_There was no mirth in his eyes. No lust. She didn't feel bare or uncomfortable. He was genuinely giving her a compliment. “Thanks..” she replied quietly, unable to tear her gaze away from his._

_Then he suddenly looked abashed._ “ _I'm sorry, that was out of line and a bit creepy... I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable,” he added quickly, leaning away from her._

“ _No, I'm not. I'm flattered, really. Don't worry.” she added quickly. That seemed to relax him._

_“Alright. But for what it's worth, I meant it.” He added softly, with a small smile._

_Catelyn found herself smiling at this solemn man. There was something about him that intrigued her. ‘Sweet Ned’ is what Lyanna called him whenever she spoke of him - which was a lot. Now Catelyn was starting to realize why._

“ _Tell me about yourself, Eddard,” She said, sitting back. If she was going to be up all night, she was glad to have company._

 

That was so long ago, yet the memory was still so fresh in her mind. They'd talked for hours that night. Getting to know each other, and they’d figured out just how well they got along and how similar their tastes were. He'd then made her mocha with whipped cream and she'd made him a london fog, and they'd talked some more.

But along with the happy memory, she couldn’t stop herself from remembering the day she’d realized she had to break it off with him and leave. She had only just begun dreaming about marrying this man when she had to break his heart completely, she had known she was leaving hers behind with him. But it had broken her to see the realization of the inevitable on his face.

 

“ _You have to let me go, Ned. Forget about me. Live your life. Be happy....please, for me!” Catelyn choked out in between sniffles, Ned stood in front of her still as a rock as he looked at her helplessly._

“ _No.” He said in a clear voice._

“ _You can't Iive like that Ned! I don't know how long this will take or if I will ever return. Can’t you understand that?” she asked, infuriated._

“ _Could you forget me on a whim, Catelyn?” he snapped, “If you can, I do hope you find happiness, Cat, you deserve everything in the world. But I can't forget you. I won't.” There were no accusations or venom in his tone, just hurt. And even as it angered her to see he thought her love so fickle that she would get in the bed with the next southerner she saw, it also broke her heart to see how much it tore at him to wish she loved someone else and found happiness even if it was not with him._

“ _Of course I could not,” she whispered hoarsely. “How can you even ask me that?”_

 _“How can you ask_ _me_ _that? How can you expect me to forget you like that Catelyn?” he challenged._

“ _It will take time, Ned. But you will move on. I can't let you waste your life on me.” she argued helplessly._

“ _No.” He answered infuriatingly calmly. She sighed in frustration and took a few steps away._

“ _I will not force you to stay here, Cat. I will not demand that we make it work long distance, I know the situation is not that simple. Your family needs you and you need to go to them. And my family needs me. We don’t know how long you will be needed in Riverrun. But I will not move on. That is not possible,” he said, calmly._

“ _Ned, please. You will love, you can love again. Don’t give away your life for me, don’t be alone...”_

“ _No, Cat!” He walked away a few paces, before turning back to her. “Don't you understand what you mean to me?” He walked closer to her, a desperate sort of plea in his eyes. “Do you think my love for you is so weak that something as trivial as distance will erase it? Nothing can erase how I feel for you, Cat. You are everything to me, my love....you...” his voice broke towards the end and he looked at her helplessly, trying to expressing everything with his eyes as he always did. Fresh tears spilled from her eyes as she saw the outpouring of love in them and his endearment brought a fresh wave of tears. It weakened her resolve, but she had to be strong. She couldn't let him waste his life on her, she just couldn't. He continued, “.... you always will be the only one I want and need. Nothing will change that. If you don't want me in your life anymore, I won’t bother you. I just want you to be happy, Cat. Maybe you will find someone back in Riverrun, maybe you'll move on. And that's okay. But don't ask me to forgot you Catelyn. I will not. I can't ever stop loving you. I won't.”_

_Dread filled her when he spoke of her moving on. How could she? How was she supposed to walk away from him....“Don't you see? If you want me to be happy why I wouldn't want the same thing? I want you to be happy. I want you to get on with your life. You'll find someone, it will work out.”_

“ _No,” He said again, clearer. “I don’t know if it will work out. But I know, I have no interest in other women. You are my happiness, Cat.”_

“ _And you are mine, but I don't know if I will ever return Ned...I DONT! What are we supposed to do?! Tell me because I don't know what else to do! What happens when I’m gone and you're here...alone. What happens if decades pass and nothing changes. I don't want that....I can't imagine a life like that for you..I don't know what else to do....” She countered and broke down in tears._

_Ned pulled her close. She cried in his chest, for what would be the last time she would likely see him. She pulled him closer, relishing his warmth one last time. He was willing to give up his life loving her while still expecting her to live her life and meet someone else, fall in love and have a life. She was not going to let him waste his life on her. She couldn't live with herself. “We do what we must, my love. We do our duties. And if in the future things work out, and you wish to return, I'll be here.”_

_He'll move on, she told herself. He'll forget me. There was a possibility she had to take over her father's business, and Ned needed to be on his father’s side after he returned from the hospital, and Brandon returned from rehab. And their duties were a thousand miles away from each other. She could feel by Ned's grip on her that he knew it himself. She felt a slight tremble._

“ _I'll wait.” He kissed her forehead. She had no strength to fight anymore. “You are everything to me, Catelyn. I love you with all my heart. And I always will. I promise you that,” he whispered in her hair._

“ _I love you too, Ned. Always.”_

_One last day. She told herself. Let me have this one last day, tomorrow I will be stronger._

 

The gate opened as her car approached it, as she drove in she saw the garage open as well, she parked and took a last look at herself. She tousled her hair another time, so it fell properly over her shoulders. _He loved my hair. I wonder if he still does after all these years._ She walked all the way to the front door. Her heart started pounding, goosebumps raised up on her skin as she stood in front of the door. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock. _Calm down, Catelyn Tully. You're going to be fine. It's just dinner. Just dinner. Just two friends....catching up. That's it. That.is.all._ The door opened before she could, all the false reassurances died on her lips. And all of her strength went into not tackling him... again. He looked breathless as well.

“Ned,” she said, thankful that her voice didn’t break.

He stared right into her eyes just like he always did. His warm grey eyes that could see her soul, a wide smile on his face, and her heart skipped a beat at the sight. “Cat,” he replied simply. He wore a long sleeved grey sweater – she wondered if he wore it to set off his eyes; his eyes were glowing. “Come in,” he said.

She walked in the hallway, Ned gently took off her coat. She relaxed as warmth engulfed her inside. The house was just as she’d remembered it. A distinct rustic and warm feel to it. Mild smell of woodsmoke in the air, she could hear the fire crackling in the other room. Everything was the in the same place as she’s last seen it. Except for the emptiness and darkness in all the rooms apart from the parlour and the kitchen that were bathed in a soft warm glow. She walked in the parlour, much like the first time she’d seen Ned here, there was a fire in the hearth and snow falling outside. There was a small table set up in the corner for them -  it was cozy. She smiled at that, as the enormous mahogany dining table was too big for just two people to dine on.  

She turned to face Ned, firelight making his beautiful face glow, his eyes shining like steel but she noticed the dark circles and the lines on them. He was much too young for that. But neither of their lives had been easier for the last six years. She stifled the urge to reach out and touch his cheek. He looked at her silently, as if he was afraid she would disappear. They both stood quietly, taking the reality of actually standing in front of each other after years, and her heartbeat accelerated.

“So...um....how.. how was today...I mean, how was your day?” _Geez Tully remember how to speak already._

“Not bad, actually. Yours?” he asked.

“Pretty good.” She smiled.

His eyes rested on the pendant on her collarbone and his eyes softened further. Unbidden, the memory of the last time she'd seen him six years ago flooded her mind.

 

“ _Here, I got you something. I bought it a while ago, I was going to give it to you for your birthday, but...” He trailed off, his hands clasping hers tightly. She was boarding her flight soon, she decided to go ahead with her carry on and Uncle Brynden said he'd have someone move her things to Riverrun over time. But they needed her there soon, and that had scared her._

_Catelyn opened the tiny square box to see necklace with a pendant of an elegant knot that had a single sparkling sapphire in the middle– a love knot. She smiled through the tears, remembering the time she'd told him of her Celtic heritage. “Thanks, it's beautiful,” she said and asked him to help her put it on._

_When she turned around his eyes were firm, “It's a promise, Cat. No matter what, if you ever wish to come back to me, I'll be here.”_

“ _Ned...” she bit her lip. “Promise me you'll find some happiness.”_

“ _Your happiness is my happiness,” He answered calmly. She shook her head, there was no point in arguing with him when they only had a few moments left. And suddenly the reality crashed on her and it knocked the breath out of her._

“ _I don't know how to do this, Ned,” Catelyn choked out. She wasn't left speechless many times, she'd told herself to be strong, but walking away from this....she needed to do it before it was too much. “Kiss me, one last time. Please,” she pleaded._

_His resolve broke then, and the fear that this may well be their last time returned in his eyes as Ned gave her a sad smile, holding her face with his hands and kissing her deeply. The kiss spoke of the longing, the sadness and most importantly his unwavering love for her. His hands were in her hair on her waist, pulling her to him and she pulled him to her. She held onto him tightly, not wanting to let go. He broke the kiss too soon, but the last call to board the plane was for her. They stood there for a moment longer, foreheads touching when he spoke, “I love you, Catelyn. And I promise you I will wait.”_

“ _Be happy, Ned.” She urged one last time, “I love you,” pulled away and walked to board the plane all the while looking back at him as he stared at her with wide puppy eyes. When she saw his face one last time before heading to the plane, she whispered to herself, “Always.” As much as she wanted him to be happy and move on. She knew for certain she wouldn't. He’d promised to wait, and his words rang in her mind one last time as the plane took off. And she clutched on to the love knot pendant resting against her heart and a part of her desperately held onto his promise and hoped he wouldn't get tired of waiting._

Now six years later, as she looked at him gazing softly at the pendant, Catelyn thought she saw a glimmer of hope, and she wondered if she wasn’t late after all.

 

_~_

_I pull you close, so much to lose knowing that nothing lasts forever_

_I didn't care before you were here. I danced in laughter with the ever after_

_But all things change. Let this remain._

_\- Pearl Jam, Sirens_  
  



	2. A Promise Made

_I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes_  
_And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you_

_\- Eric Clapton, “You look wonderful tonight”_

~

_She's so beautiful._

Time and distance had no effect on how he felt about her. His heart skipped a beat just watching her smile at him. The firelight from the hearth created a warm halo around her, making her look almost ethereal; he took a moment to remind himself she was truly here. There were days in the last six years when her presence felt so real, it seemed like she had never left. And then there were days when the utter solitude made him wonder if he’d imagined the whole thing - her, their time together, and all the happiness her presence had brought in his life. It all seemed like a distant dream. Yet here she was.

Ned stifled the urge to reach out and hold her like he’d rudely tackled her last week in the cafe. They smiled shyly at each other before he turned to go to the kitchen and finish making the food. He silently watched her sitting on the couch. She looked remarkably like the very first time he’d seen her - sitting in the same chair huddling next to the fireplace, her hair glowing in the firelight as she’d clutched tightly to one of his sweaters. Their introduction could not have been more awkward because of him tripping over his own words, but they had still managed to hit it off.

_“Nope, never tried it.”_

_“Really? Trust me, mocha with whipped cream is delicious,” he said and handed her a_ _cup. It was something of a specialty in the Stark household, their mum used to make hot cocoa with whipped cream when they were little. Brandon didn’t have much of a sweet tooth, but the rest of them loved it. He’d even seen Rickard - the man who lectured them about healthy eating all the time - occasionally sneaking mocha with a generous dollop of whipped cream. But his steely gaze always stopped them from questioning him._

_“Didn't you mention working with Jon Arryn?” she asked once they settled on the couch. Her face flushed as she sipped her beverage, it made her look quite adorable._

_“Yes, about a year ago, but I only did the internship. Dad wanted me to come back and join him at Stark, so here I am.”_

_“But you liked working for Falcon Corporation?” she asked genuinely._

_“Yes, I learned a lot with Jon. He was a good mentor to me, so I wanted to stay on a bit longer. Don’t get me wrong, I like working here, it is a learning experience on its own. But I wanted to have my own experience that did have to do with the family business, you know?” he didn’t know why he was sharing this, but it felt natural. And she didn’t judge him when he went silent or didn’t have anything to say - she didn’t feel compelled to fill the silences like so many. He quite liked that._

_“I understand, after I’m done with school I'd like to do an internship too. My father wants me to go back to Riverrun, but like you I want to have a different experience first. In fact your father offered to mentor me. So we might be working together soon.”_

_“That's great!” he said, surprised by his own enthusiasm. He felt quite comfortable with her and he wished they could get to know each other better. It was rare for him to find someone he could talk so freely with, especially someone so beautiful._

_“I haven't thought of it yet, mostly because I don't know many people here.” She laughed sheepishly, and looked down._

_“You have us. I’m not much for socializing, but I will introduce you to my friends if you_ _like,” he added._

_“I'd like that,” she said. “But it's not just that. It's too cold up here.”_

_“I'll help you shop for winter clothes,” he shrugged._

_She laughed, “I'd really appreciate that because no matter what I buy it's not warm enough. And Lyanna doesn't strike me as the shopping type.”_

_“She’s not. Don't worry I'll help you get settled in here, if you choose to stay that is,” he smiled._

_“Thank you, Ned,” she smiled gratefully and seemed extremely relieved at that, one would think he’d offered to help her accomplish a dangerous task as opposed to shop for a simple warm coat. I will never understand southerners, he thought to himself. Then again he’d lived in Vale, and he’d come close to melting some days and Vale wasn’t even far south. He likely would’ve reacted the same way in those days if she’d offered to find him a tub of ice to sleep in._

_“Do you like the city so far?” he asked._

_“I do! The architecture is amazing. I’ve always wanted to go up north to the Wall. But it's even colder there so...” She shuddered visibly to enunciate her dread for the cold. He shook his head in amusement._

_“I have a car, I’ll ask Lyanna and the three of us can go once we get you warm clothes. Have you ever been to Winterfell?”_

_“I would like that and no I haven’t been to Winterfell yet, I know Rickard has Christmas parties there every year, but I’m usually in Riverrun. Is it true that the spring water courses through walls of the castle? And if you touch the walls you can feel the warmth?” she asked, her blue eyes wide with wonder._

_“Some parts of the castle, yeah. We had to refurbish most of it, but the hot springs are still intact, and I’ve heard the weirwood there is thousands of years old. If you like historic architecture and places, you’ll like Winterfell.” he answered. He liked going up there, it was a few hours drive away and they sometimes drove up for the weekend. Of all of them, him and Lyanna loved it up there the most. It was quiet and pristine._

_“Oh we should stop over there before heading to the Wall!” she said excitedly, then composed herself fast, she continued almost formally “I mean, if that’s okay. I didn’t mean to impose.”_

_“You didn’t. That sounds like a good plan.” He found himself smiling at her again._

_“Great. I’ll be in charge of bringing the food. Oh and I’ll bring hot spiced wine, I tasted a nice one in a pub the other day.”_

_“Yeah that thing will warm you up fast,” he said, the spiced wines were popular with southerners for that very reason. Personally, it made him feel too hot._

_Suddenly Catelyn leapt in her seat, grabbing his hand and exclaiming, “Oh! And there is this new exhibit at the museum called...”_

_“‘Valar Morghulis’ featuring the old artifacts from the Free Cities,” he finished._

_“Yes! You know of it?” she asked excitedly._

_He found himself grinning at her. “I was going to go next Friday, if you want to come with.”_

_“Absolutely!” she answered._

_He liked this girl. She was easy to talk to, and she seemed really nice. They talked for hours when he saw the sunlight peeking through the windows make her auburn hair glow like embers and he realized they'd talked all night. Not long after that Lyanna walked down and Catelyn offered to make breakfast for them as a thank you. And too soon, Lyanna decided to drop her home._

_But before heading out she turned to him.“I had a lot of fun, Ned. I would love to do it again sometime,” she said shaking his hand._

_“So we are on for the museum trip on Friday?” he asked hopefully._

_“You bet! It's a date,” she said moving to remove his sweater._

_He stopped her midway “Keep it, you need it more than me.”_

_Just as she reached the door, she turned again and said, “Ned? You will help me find winter clothes, won't you?”_

_“Absolutely-- wait, does that mean you're staying?” he asked, surprised by his own eagerness._

_“Yes.” she answered with a smile. “See you, Ned.”_

_“See you!” he smiled. As she left he realized what she’d said before. “It's a date...” he repeated to himself and found himself grinning once more._

The timer on the stove beeped, pulling him out of his reverie and he realized he’d been staring at her all this time. He turned away quickly and focused on the food - thankfully he hadn’t burnt anything. _Subtle, Eddard, very subtle_ , he heard Brandon's laugh in his mind.

A few weeks ago at work, Jory had enthusiastically told him she was coming back. Ned had asked about her general well-being, but he didn’t pry for information. He was sure he’d shocked his colleagues by being uncharacteristically happy that day. He'd caught Jory grinning at him from his office a few times. In fact he had been quite distracted ever since he found out she was in Wintertown. Jory had told him she’d moved to a place close to his old apartment building. He wondered if she knew that. _Of course she didn't, you idiot. She didn't move to a place just because it is close to where you used to live. You’re meeting up as friends, don't screw this up._

He hadn’t expected her to contact him of course, so last week when he saw her he’d been delightfully surprised - in spite of being there just to see if she showed up. When he’d blurted out an invitation to his place, he'd completely forgotten about his business trip. But he’d finished it early, managed to catch a flight barely before what looked like a storm and came home late last night. He was thankfully they didn’t cancel flights because of a possible storms in the north - definitely not Last Hearth that dealt with that sort of thing every other week in the winter. And he wasn't going to cancel on her even if he had to drive all the bloody way here in a blizzard. He had run out early in the morning to get groceries and thankfully managed to finish everything by the time she got here.

They still hadn’t spoken much about anything. They made small talk when they last met, as he’d been too caught up in normalizing his heart rate and willing back coherence after holding her in his arms after so long. He only remembered seeing her, embracing her tightly and pressing his face in the auburn cloud of her hair that he adored so much. _Don’t make it weird, Eddard. Don’t make it weird,_  he heard Brandon’s voice in his mind. He sighed.

He didn’t even know how long she was here for. Still his heart sank at the thought that she'd found someone else. But he wanted her to be happy, but he'd heard news from the south and he doubted that. Ned lost count of how many times he’d called his assistant to book a flight to Riverrun, but always changed the subject or hung up. He recalled how many times he’d been close to booking a ticket himself. He could easily say it was a business related trip and go see her. Every time they got a wave of news from the south, he’d been tempted to go, but he didn't think it was right. She'd cut all ties after all. And he’d promised to leave her alone if she wanted to, and that caused him to stop every time. And if she had moved on, as happy as he would be for her, he didn’t think he was strong enough to see her with another man. So he’d remained far away and anytime they had any conference near Riverrun, Jory went instead of him.

Ned had still been discontent after the news from the south remained grim as years went by. Jon Arryn had finally realized his turmoil and offered to check up on the Tullys and he had brought news of the family. It had made him feel like a caged animal to know his poor Cat was left to deal with everything alone. _I couldn’t just barge into her life, I promised to leave her alone,_ he thought; _you made another promise,_ a part of him whispered and he closed his eyes to reel his thoughts back. With all the troubles Tullys were facing, his own world hadn’t been on stable ground either. So even if he wished, he couldn’t just go south whenever he wanted. Stark Corporation needed him after everything that happened in the North, his family needed him more than ever. And he hoped his presence had aided his siblings somewhat when they were struggling.

“Do you need a hand, Ned?” Catelyn’s voice made him turn around.

His dark thoughts went away and his heart lurched at the sound of her voice, he shook his head slightly, “No, I got it. Do you want some wine? I’ve picked one out, but feel free to raid the cellar if you’re in mood for something else.”

“No it's fine. I can do that while you plate up.” She moved pick the bottle he had left atop the counter. She looked at it thoughtfully, “My favourite aged spiced wine. Are you sure you want to open such an expensive bottle for me?”

He smiled, “Your being here is worth celebrating, Cat.”

She returned his smile, her cheeks flushing just as easily as they used to, not wishing to make her uncomfortable he turned away as he remembered how the slight pink hue trailed down her neck--

“Wine.” She held out the glass. He murmured his thanks, feeling truly grateful that she’d stopped his trail of thoughts before it started to affect him physically. He had so many questions he wished to ask, so many things he wished to say. But for the moment he let the silence linger. He wondered if it would've been easier if they'd remained in touch all these years but he didn't think either of them would've actually had any time to converse.

Catelyn took her glass and went back in the parlour to sit near the hearth. He took a deep breath as the sight before him overwhelmed him as he realized just how much he'd missed her. Not a day went by when he didn't think about her. And he still couldn't believe she was right here in front of him. It felt like no time had passed. Yet he remembered everything that had happened in her absence in the last six years. She looked older, wiser and more slender. She was always thin, but she looked thinner. And her hair was shorter, too but it remained beautiful, it could never be anything but beautiful to him. Even if she looked a little tired now, it didn’t dull how beautiful she was.

Ned knew he didn’t look any better than he used to - he was already not too good looking to begin with. If anything he looked worse, he’d lost some weight, he could feel his once tailored and well fitted suits now loose on his form when he wore them to work. He cared even less about his appearance after Catelyn left. He had Lyanna to keep him in check back then, to make sure he didn’t grow out his beard and hair too much. But after she had left and then Benjen, he’d stopped caring altogether. Jory fret over him every now and then, but he paid him no mind. He looked at his dull reflection on the fridge. He knew his hair was longer and shaggier, stubble unruly - which he’d at least made an effort to trim this morning. But he still didn’t look great.

He took the food to the small table he’d set up in the parlour. She was already sitting there, waiting and looked at him in a way that caused a twist in his gut. She gasped as she noticed the food.

He panicked when she didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I thought you liked crispy salmon with potato salad, the way I used to make. Is that okay?” he asked hesitantly, hoping she’d say something. Damn it Ned, you should’ve asked her before if she still liked it.

“Its perfect.” She answered and he exhaled in relief. They settled in to eat, and every bite reminded him of home and of memories long buried. He didn’t really cook fish very much. He didn’t cook that much at all. It seemed too much work just for himself. He always ordered in or just got something to eat on his way home.

“Its delicious, Ned. Just like I remember it.” She said, almost too softly to hear. But he could hear the sadness in her voice and his heart clenched. He tried to push all the memories away for so long, but her words broke his resolve and all the loneliness engulfed him. Six years alone. Six years without her. He’d completely forgotten what it was like to come home to a full house. Selfishly he thought now that she was here, she’d visit. A part of him wanted her to come here more, he could ask Jory and Ben to come over too, and Lyanna - if she answered my calls. The idea of coming home to Catelyn sitting by the fire waiting for him was too overwhelming to him. He sipped his wine and cleared his throat, before he got lost again in forlorn hopes and dreams.

“So, when did you move here?” he asked in an attempt to escape the old memories flooding his mind.

“A few weeks ago,” she answered. “How long since you moved back to here?”

“A few months now, its closer to work. How is the family?”

There was a flicker of panic in her eyes, but she composed herself quickly. “They are fine. Daddy is doing so much better now. Eddie is loving college and Lysa is loving being out of college,” she laughed forcibly.

If it had been an outsider they would've been convinced by that, but painfully it reminded him how well he knew her by the way he recognized the forceful laughter and how she’d replied with what sounded like a well practiced answer. Considering the amount of questions thrown his way about if the Tullys were doomed or not, it saddened him more to realize how many times she probably had to answer that very question in a diplomatic way so she didn’t offend potential business allies. Ned on the other hand had been quite undiplomatic in some of his responses to rude questions by people, and that had prompted Jory to always take over when their southern alliances came into conversation. Now looking at her face, he wanted to kick himself for sounding like the very people he hated.

Instead he said what he’d meant to for a long time, “I never got to offer my condolences after I heard about your mother; I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, we got the flowers and the note,” She replied. It had been Lyanna’s idea to send flowers, but it didn’t feel enough, he wanted to be there for her. Catelyn looked weary now, almost as if the events of the last six years suddenly weighed down upon her shoulders.

“I know, it has been quite a while, still if there is anything I can do, just say the word,” he offered. She murmured her thanks again, smiling at him gratefully.

She looked around, “The place is so quiet.”

He followed her gaze, “Yeah. After Ben and Lya moved out, its been this way. I had half a mind to just lock the place up and get a small apartment, but I didn’t have the heart to leave. It can get quite secluded up here at times, but its still home.”

She looked at him for a long while, as if she wished to say something but didn’t know how to phrase it. “I’m so sorry about Rickard and Brandon. I know it must have been quite difficult for all of you.” Catelyn said squeezing his hand.

“Thanks. We’re good. Lya and Ben had a rough time for a while, but they’re doing better.” _I hope_ , is what he thought but didn’t say. But Catelyn just looked at him like she’d read his mind and offered a small smile.

As he returned it he realized how blue her eyes looked in the light. He remembered those countless days and night he spent wishing he could drown in those impossibly blue pools while she talked. He remembered how they smiled, laughed, sparkled with mischief and dilated with desire. Overwhelmed again, he shirked away the thoughts, and went back to eating. It seems they both needed some time to think of what to say next. It had been six years after all. It wasn’t awkward, but both of them understood the need for long silences. They finished the rest of the meal in silence - a comfortable silence and he relished it. He’d missed this. After the meal they settled on the couch with the bottle of wine and glasses on the table in front of them when Catelyn turned to him.

“How much did Jon tell you?” she asked softly. He wasn’t surprised she’d figured that out.

“He told me you were alright, that you were all coping. But most of the troubling news I heard was from some of our mutual allies,” he admitted.

“What did you hear from your allies, exactly?” she urged.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, trying to find the right way to phrase it. He didn't wish to seem like he'd been glued to any gossip magazines. He started tentatively, “I heard about the business problems, a lawsuit or something - everybody heard about Hoster’s health issues, and Lysa’s...issues but nothing about you. All I knew was that you were at the helm for a while before you and Lysa disappeared for a long time. So Jon said he was going to check up on you – just to make sure you were all okay.”

Catelyn bit her lip, “I thought as much when Jon Arryn showed up at the manor.” She looked down briefly, “A lot of things happened...” she whispered.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but if it would help to let it out then I'm here,” Ned reassured her.

Catelyn looked up in surprise, but she looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do you mean that?” she asked in a small voice.

“Always.”

She looked like she was going to say something, but she bit her lip and looked away, eyes glistening as she gathered her thoughts. “I want you to hear the truth. You deserve it, after all I didn’t even attempt to contact you after I left. And I asked Jon about you, he said you were quite concerned for us,” she added silently.

 

Ned realized he wanted to know the truth of that one particular speculation that he'd heard from too many credible associates to squash completely. Whispers of a pregnancy. Some said it was a stillborn, speculated one of the Tully sisters had given birth a couple of years ago and raised the child in silence. But her sister was too young, so he’d wondered if it was Catelyn. Part of him had felt joy for a brief moment thinking it was their child as he’d remembered how feverishly and desperately they’d come together the night before she left and they’d been so focused on each other he didn’t clearly recall if they’d used any protection. But, if there was a child and it was his, Catelyn would've told him. And because she didn’t, it brought forth more concerns and questions. He feared the worst; his mind was riddled with speculations but he willed himself to listen.

“When I landed in Riverrun, Uncle took me straight to the hospital. Daddy's health was deteriorating. And they told me Mum had died even before they got her in the ambulance,” Catelyn said in a eerily calm voice.

“But he told you she was alive when you got the call,” he interjected, he could see a faraway look in her eyes and he wished to hold her hand, to comfort her in some way. She was quite expressive, but in this moment she was more closed off than she had ever been and it worried him.

“They didn't want to tell me over the phone. Uncle Brynden told me the details once I got there. That is why he wanted me there so urgently that he didn't even let me pack. We didn't think dad was going to make it at the time.” She stopped briefly to give a shaky sigh, “Apparently, after the crash he’d managed to crawl to mum. The paramedics found him with her in his arms, he was trying to get her to wake up, they had to pry him away. He watched her die in his arms, Ned.”

He felt cold as he saw the image of old Hoster trying to wake his dying wife. He watched Catelyn as tears started streaming down her face, her resolve slowly started to break. “So when they brought him to the hospital his health was deteriorating fast. And I spent most of my time at the office in his stead and my free time in the hospital, uncle took care of Edmure and Lysa. A few days later, he miraculously woke up, demanded to see mum. We had to tell him again, he denied it for a long time. Then uncle and I took him to see her...” she gave a strangled cry and clamped her hand on her mouth.

“Cat...” he whispered. At that he couldn’t stifle the urge to reach out to hold her hand, but she embraced him, resting her head on his shoulder as she cried and held on tightly.

“Oh Ned, it was horrible. The look on his face... he was so helpless, I had never seen him so helpless before. The next few weeks were agonizing. He didn't speak, he wouldn’t eat properly, it seemed like he wasn’t even there. Even at the funeral, it felt like he was far away – but once everyone was gone, he wept bitterly hugging mum's casket. Eddie was still just a child, him and Lysa couldn’t stop crying. If it hadn’t been for Uncle Brynden, I don’t know how I could’ve managed everything...” she sniffled.

His heart broke to see her like this, he realized this was likely the first time she’d let herself cry after so long. He tried hopelessly to console her, he heard himself whisper soothing words, “But you did, you were strong for them…you were so brave...I’m sorry you were left alone…. I’m so sorry....” She whimpered and held him tighter, as he kept murmuring soothing words to her while wishing he could’ve been there for her.

He’d been quite sad when he'd heard of Minisa Tully’s death. He never had the chance to get to know the woman but in those few times he'd met her, she'd been immensely kind. Apart from a striking resemblance she shared with her mother, Catelyn had also inherited Minisa's strong sense of compassion and forthrightness. The Tully matriarch had been a force of nature. He knew she had a strong influence on Catelyn, and she’d been the only person on their side for the longest time after they’d come public about their relationship. She’d given Ned a chance for her daughter’s sake after recognizing how happy Catelyn had been with him, and somehow convinced her husband to do the same. When his own mother had passed, it had taken years for him to completely get over it as he’d been too busy making sure Benjen and Lyanna were doing alright; he knew well what Catelyn must have gone through.

“Cat, if its too painful you don’t have to...”

“No please, I need to let it out...” instinctively he pulled her closer at those words. She was alone, he’d left her alone with everything.

“I’m here. How did you manage with Hoster at the hospital?” Ned briefly got up to put another log in the fire as she spoke.

“I took over the business in his stead. He recovered fully after months of extensive physical and emotional therapy - which he hated. And we had to keep him away from alcohol because he had started drinking as a way of coping. Uncle Brynden actually had to fight him a few times – not unlike you used to fight Brandon whenever he was on withdrawal--” At that Ned felt his heart sink and he paused for a split second before stoking the flames, but she didn’t catch it, “-...but he coped reading mum's letters and looking at old pictures. About a year later, he showed up at work. It took a while, but everything started to get better. The business was unstable so we needed all the help we could get. Just when we thought it was getting back to normal, it got worse… I’m sure you saw some of those stories of me and my uncle going to court to ‘sue my father’,” she said, unconsciously reaching for his hand when he sat back next to her; he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah I thought so, it was ridiculous really...” she wiped the tears tracks on her cheeks and he had to stifle the urge to kiss them as he used to. He just held on to her hand tightly and waited silently for her to continue.

“I know you well enough to know that was false.” It was as ridiculous to even consider that Catelyn had turned on her own father, the woman was too devoted to her family to even contemplate it; one of the traits that marked her as a Tully.

“We did go to court, but for another reason. There was this guy. A family friend, he'd returned from college to visit when he heard the news. He moved back to Riverrun. He proved to be a comfort to us.” He felt cold suddenly realizing what was coming. “He had a bit of a crush on me growing up, and I didn't know it at the time, but he never got over it.”

Ned swallowed uncomfortably, hoping she wasn't going to tell him of a newfound romance, but still finding solace in the fact that she held on tightly to his hand as her other hand traced the pendant he’d bought for her years ago. Perhaps she just wants a friend, he didn’t think he was strong enough to hear her talk about being with another man. But he pushed the nagging voice down and listened intently even as dread started to fill him.

“He was subtle in his advances so I ignored them; Edmure and Lysa were happy with him there, I didn’t want to break their hearts. But one evening it got out of hand. He tried to force himself on me, thankfully I was able to get away and uncle Brynden had just come home -he’d moved in after father’s health problems - so he heard my shouts and pulled him away.”

Ned blinked in confusion as her story took a sharp turn, he’d expected something completely different. But now the image of Catelyn scared and alone made him want to go find that piece of filth that tried to touch her and strangle him. “Tell me he’s dead, Catelyn. Please tell me your uncle killed him.” Ned growled, immediately regretting his tone and his voice.

But she seemed to expect it and she only answered his question, ignoring his growl, “I stopped my uncle from killing him right there, but he was quite battered and he ended up going to prison for what he did to me. But because uncle has contacts, we managed to keep it all quiet - they still snapped pictures of us during the entire ordeal. Hence the ridiculous claims in all the papers and all the headache that came with those claims. Sometimes I wish we’d never gone to court and handled it privately but Brynden wouldn’t listen.” She shook her head.

“He did the right thing. The man assaulted you, Cat! He deserved to die if you ask me.” Ned was vibrating with anger. He'd expected her to tell him she'd found someone, instead what she told him made him want to find that son of a bitch and beat him up further.

“Petyr is in prison for four years without parole - he also had priors apparently, so he will be a registered sex offender. He will have to watch his back his entire life with my uncle’s wrath, I think he got the punishment for what he did, don't you?” she challenged.

“Not nearly enough,” he countered. His phone ringed just then he gave her an apologetic smile and went to see who it was.

Jory name blinked on the screen, Ned knew he was at work still and Jory wouldn’t call unless it was important. “I’m sorry, I have to take this; its Jory.”

“Oh tell him I said hi!”

With a slight smile, he picked up the call, “Whats up?”

“Sorry Ned, I didn’t want to disturb you and Cat, but Lyn is here; he’s insisting on speaking with you.”

Ned clenched his jaw, this really wasn’t the time to deal with him with Catelyn right there. Especially with Catelyn there. He lowered his voice when he spoke, “I thought I made it clear--”

“-- I know Ned, I’m not asking you to come down here, just talk to him. He says he has a promising offer. And it has absolutely nothing to do with Catelyn Tully managing her the Tully division in town.”

Ned shook his head. “Tell him the deal is off, and I don’t care what he has to offer.”

“I tried. But he won’t leave, he says he will only speak with you.”

Ned sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Put him on.” Ned walked to the hallway, not wanting to appear agitated in front of Catelyn.

“Mr. Stark….I--” Lyn greeted.

“Mr. Corbray, I thought I made it clear that we will not be dealing with you in the future. I suggest you leave our premises and take your business elsewhere.”

“I understand you are upset, Mr. Stark; I didn’t mean to offend of course. But I believe you will want to deal with us when you hear our proposal...”

“I won’t,” Ned answered, his voice dangerously low. He could feel Catelyn look at him sharply in his periphery, but he continued, “Now I will not repeat what I said to you when we met and you decided to crudely insult Stark allies for your benefit. But if I have to, I will have you thrown out of our premises and get my lawyers involved. So I suggest you leave before I make the call.”

The man scoffed, and Ned heard heavy footsteps before Jory answered again, “Bloody hell, what did you say to him?”

Ned sighed, “He won’t bother us again. Inform Hallis, if he tries to come back, don’t let him in the building. Oh and Catelyn says hi.”

Jory laughed, “You two have fun. See you Monday - if you show up that is.” Before Ned could question the last part Jory had ended the call. Shrugging, he went back to sit next to Catelyn, “Sorry about that.”

“Its okay.” Catelyn assured, but looking at her glass she bit her lip. “It was nothing serious, I hope? I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear.”

“Corbray has been...persistent. It had to be done.” He did not wanting to delve into why exactly he had to do it.

“I wonder why he’s so insistent to deal with Stark now,” Catelyn commented casually but he clearly heard the hint of sarcasm.

Ned’s lips quirked up at that. He should’ve known she would figure it out, he had momentarily forgotten how sharp Catelyn was. “Its true, you being here is a threat to the southern businesses that want to connect with us. And considering our fathers were friends, it is obvious we’d pick the Tullys to do business with. People will do and say all sorts of things to get what they want,” Ned finished darkly.

Catelyn’s eyes shot up at that, “Ned...I’m not...I didn’t come here for--” she trailed off sheepishly.

Ned couldn’t help but chuckle at her expression, “I know you’re not here for business, Cat. I know you better than that.”

She relaxed at that but laughed with him briefly before her eyes turned serious again.

“But for what its worth, from a business standpoint we’ll always be allies. You don’t have to worry about that. I told your father the same, we won’t alienate you - certainly not for Lyn Corbray.” He clenched his jaw to stop from speaking more about what the man had said.

Catelyn looked at him for a long moment as if she’d read his mind, “He told you about Lysa, didn’t he?”

“He did.”

“I doubt it was the truth. He spent a great deal of time spreading rumours about her in the south.”

He shifted uncomfortably, people had said some horrible things about her sister, so he phrased his answer carefully, “He said she had...health issues.”

“You’re a terrible liar, Eddard Stark.” Catelyn smiled sadly.

“I will not repeat some of the horrible things said about her - about any of you. I don’t know what happened exactly, and it's not my place to judge,” he replied earnestly. He couldn’t expect to know everything about the Tullys, him and Catelyn hadn’t been together for years.

She bit her lip, “Lysa.. she went through some horrible things. After what happened with Petyr she’d started acting oddly. One day, she snapped and fought with me for causing him to go to prison.” He was about to protest at the mention of the vile man when she closed her eyes in exasperation - as if she knew exactly what he was about to say - and placed her fingers on his lips, momentarily forgetting the time that passed between them. And he couldn’t help but be surprised and amused at her reaction. She seemed to realize what she’d done and withdrew it soon as she sheepishly stared down at the wine glasses they’d left on the coffee table.

He remained silent, curbing his smile, and she looked up in defiance, trying very hard to pretend that didn’t happen and failing adorably so, as her cheeks coloured instantly. Soon her expression turned dark, “She told me she'd slept with Petyr and she was pregnant. And she begged me not to tell dad, so I took her to the doctor myself to confirm it. He said there were complications that would most likely cause her to miscarry, if not he warned us that the probability of the pregnancy being life threatening was high. But she chose to ignore that, she was too caught up in the idea of having a baby; he’d convinced her he loved her and she’d believed him. She was fifteen.”

The lightness of the moment disappeared, he just looked at her as she looked weighed down by a burden again. He felt an urge to go punch Petyr knowing well he was paying for his crimes. Ned held Catelyn’s hand in support; he knew too well how it felt to watch someone you loved get manipulated by a person and not being able to stop it.

“What happened?” he asked stupidly.

She bit her lip with a faraway look in her eye, “When I was at Vale for a conference, dad made her get an abortion. It plunged her into depression, I’m afraid. She was suicidal for a while, so I took her to our cottage near God’s Eye Lake for a while. Hence we both disappeared for a few months, we came back after she recovered,” she answered quietly. He could tell there was more to it, but he didn’t urge, if she wished to tell him, she would. He wanted to say something, but he was too shocked to reply. She waited for a long moment before she looked straight in his eyes and continued, “I know what they are saying about Lysa, but my sister is not crazy and she is not a… slut. She is a girl who was taken advantage of. She’s dealing with more than any girl should have to at her age. I can’t stop what people think or say no matter how much I want to, but I needed you to know the truth. I don’t want you to believe what they say,” she finished defiantly, but there was a silent plea in her eyes.

“I never believed that, Cat. Of course I didn’t. No one should have to go through what Lysa went through. But she is doing better now? And Edmure?”

Catelyn nodded, looking down at their intertwined hands. “It took a lot of therapy, but she is doing better now. They're all doing well.”

“Of course they are. They had you.” He added. But you didn't have me when you needed me.

“Ned,” she said sadly and looked down again, tracing the sapphire on her pendant. She shivered slightly and his immediate response was to look for a covering for her. He pulled a throw from the other couch and draped it on her.

They talked some more about their families, about life in general. He reveled in how easy it was to talk to her after all this time. They were still distant, it would take some time to get past that. There were many things they hadn’t spoken of yet, but slowly they were opening up to each other. Then he realized something when she excused herself to go to the loo.

“What about you?” he asked after she came back and settled next to him.

“What about me?”

“You didn't tell me how you were all these years.”

Catelyn smiled sadly, “I was okay, I was too busy really. Between taking care of the manor and work, I barely had any time left for myself. But it wasn't all bad.”

“You were left alone in this...I'm so sorry, Cat,” he said apologetically.

“You were alone too, Ned. I'm sure you had support, but in the end the Stark business was on your shoulders; Lya and Ben were dependent on you. At least I had dad and uncle Brynden. I am so sorry I cut all contact with you. I didn't think I was strong enough to let you go if I spoke to you again, as it looked like my move would be permanent. And it wasn't fair to you, I wanted you to live your life.”

He'd expected her to do something like that of course. But it was a relief to hear she hadn't cut ties because she didn't want to speak to him. “Your family needed you, Catelyn. And my family needed me.”

She leaned forward. “No you need to know this. I'm sorry you had to go through everything alone, Ned. If it wasn't for everything happening in Riverrun, I would've been here for you. I want you to know how many times I almost got on a plane just to come see you and be there for you, but my family needed me.”

“I know. I understand, Catelyn. You don't have to explain it to me,” he squeezed her hand lightly brushing her thumb. He remained silent not knowing how to respond as he was quite moved by what she'd said. 

“But I'm here now.” she added.

He looked up at that, “Yes, how are you here? Don't they need you in Riverrun, still?”

“They don't. Dad said he can handle everything now he needed someone he could trust to manage work up here until it’s stable enough. Since I have experience in that arena, he asked me to do it. So here I am."

He tried not to do the math of how long he might have with her again, but he didn't care. Any time spent with her would be worthwhile but he wasn't sure he could handle losing her again.

“Ned?” Catelyn's question snapped him out of the dark turn of his thoughts. “You will help me shop for winter clothes, won't you?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with tears.

Ned felt a sense of deja vu as she echoed her own words from six years ago. He knew what she meant, she’d answered his unspoken question. He gave a shaky exhale, “Yes, I will help you shop for winter clothes. Absolutely,” he replied eagerly.

Ned sat there feeling hope after a very long time. They smiled at each other, and in that moment he knew it more deeply that he ever had: she could go away for six more years or six more decades, but he would still wait for her because he would still be in love with her with every fiber of his being. _Its always been you, Cat. And it always will be._

~

 _However far away I will always love you, However long I stay I will always love you;_  
_Whatever words I say I will always love you,_  
_I will always love you_

_– Adele, Lovesong_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! C & C welcome. And stay tuned for more!


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